40950

Joke of the Day

"DAD: [grabs chest] Quick! Call me an ambulance. ME: [hesitantly] You're... an ambulance. DAD: I'm- I'm so proud of you, son [dies]"

"What's better than kiddie porno? Adult porno. Kiddie porn is gross, you sick fuck!"

"There are 3 types of people in this world.. ..Those who can count, and those who can't."

"I like my cigarettes like my Instagram. \#nofilter Edit: learned formatting"

"I dont downvote It's bad karma."

"sew myself into an anime body pillow, trick some unsuspecting outcast into loving a human. the ultimate prank"

"Why is ""abbreviation"" such a long word? "

"How do you enter a brothel in Westeros? Through the Hodor!"

"Hi, my name is Chadical--I mean--Chad, and I'm a recovering bro. [group says ""Hi, Chad"" but one voice goes ""Sup bro""]"

"Two surgeons are laughing during an operation when a dermatologist walks by... ""What's so funny?"" asks the dermatologist. ""Sorry, it's a inside joke."" replies the surgeon."