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Joke of the Day

"""I can't begin to tell y-"" ""Good."""

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"What do Germans look at on the internet? Danke memes"
"What's blue and doesn't fit? A dead epileptic."
"Why did the hypothalamus want to join a band? Because it had great circadian rhythms."
"Doctor Doctor...people keep ignoring me.. Next pls... im here all wk."
"If I ever met the man who came up with the idea of lobotomies, I'd give him a piece of my mind."
"-Knock Knock! -Who is it? -The love of your life. - :) Really? -Hahahaha no, it's the pizza you ordered."
"What has two legs and bleeds profusely? Half a cat."
"Blood is thicker than water but maple syrup is thicker than blood so technically pancakes are more important than family"
"Idiot college called, they want there mascot back."