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Joke of the Day

"Idiot college called, they want there mascot back."

"I bet the worst part about being single is knowing that even Hitler found someone who loved him."

"If I had a dollar for every woman that thought I was ugly... Eventually they wouldn't think I was ugly."

"Whats the hardest part eating a vegetable? The wheelchair"

"When my wife asks me to do that one thing in the bedroom that she really likes, she's talking about vacuuming."

"I've banged a lot of hoes and I'm planning on retiring. I heard the retirement homes have good pussy."

"['90s] Did you hear McDonalds just bought the naming rights to that new hockey stadium? They're calling it the Mac-Arena."

"I bet ducks would love bananas if they knew about bananas."

"How can you tell if a package is gay? It cums in the male"

"Still good at casually flexing my bicep the second before a girl touches it."