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Joke of the Day

"Blood is thicker than water but maple syrup is thicker than blood so technically pancakes are more important than family"

"A big thank you to whoever spraypainted ""KARATE"" on the side of my truck. Cops are scared to give me tickets now."

"My apartment looks like a Sims house before you figure out the cheat code for unlimited money."

"Why shouldn't you make fun of Donald Trump? You'll hurt his feeling."

"Knock knock/Who's there/9-11/9-11 who? YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET!"

"People Don't even say grace before meals anymore . They just Hold up Their Phones over the Plate , snap a Pic , & Post it on Instagram"

"Why did the boxer bring a bar of soap into the ring? The referee said he wanted a clean fight. :D"

"So a circumference walks into a restaurant... ...sits down and orders a bowl of diameter ice cream. The waiter asks, ""You want pie with that?"""

"""Houston we ... are fine."" Female astronaut probably"

"So a farmer goes to the doctor... And the doctor says, ""I need to talk to you about your overall health."" and the farmer says, ""Well my overalls are just fine thanks you!""."