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Joke of the Day

"Me: Did you just put your fingers in my drink? 5yo: I don't have poison on my fingers! Me: But why did you....wait, what?"

"Hey all you parents who recently named your kid Jax We get it you're unoriginal and watch SOA Hold on my daughter Grey's Anatomy is crying"

"What do little sisters ride? A Nii-san"

"Knock Knock... Who's there? Dim Sum Dim Sum who? [Spoiler](/s ""Dim Sum big titties"")"

"What's at the centre of No Man's Sky universe? A refund. credit to /u/xROSSTHEHOSSx (saw it on another post as comment, thought it deserved own post)"

"Cancer changes things. If you really love her.. You'll put up with dry-mouth blow jobs."

"What do you call it when a blonde dyes their hair brown Artificial Intelligence"

"If I had a nickel for every time I got distracted... I'm in the mood for some ice cream."

"whenever white girls are fighting and one of them calls the other ""hun"" during the argument world war 3 begins"

"What does a man who loves his car do on February 14? He gives it a valenshine!"