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Joke of the Day

"If I had a nickel for every time I got distracted... I'm in the mood for some ice cream."

"Did you hear what what Dr Dre is calling his new social media platform? Beats me."

"Mrs. Potato Head: OH MY GOD! Mr. Potato Head: What? Mrs. PH: Your browser history. Mr. PH: I can explain! Mrs. PH: TATER TOTS YOU PERVERT?!?"

"I hate being bipolar. It's awesome."

"Before clicking on a link from an unknown source, ask yourself this ""Am I an idiot?"". If you answered yes, then it's okay to click the link."

"Did you hear about that amazing joke that Jesus told as he was dying? I don't know the joke, but apparently he nailed the execution."

"Before listening to your opinions on current events, I'm going to first need to check your DVR recordings for reality TV dating shows."

"My girlfriend likes it in the ear... because everytime I try to put it in her mouth she turns her head."

"What does a pediatrist do when you ask them which body part they find most interesting? They admit de feet."

"I used to be a stoner in my home country... ...but then I started to respect women"