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Joke of the Day

"Women are like condoms... ...they spend too much time in your wallet and not enough time on your dick."

"A charity single has been released in aid of Pakistan flood relief... Raindrops keep falling on Ahmed."

"[hospital] ""Did my dad make it, doctor?"" Billy, your dad's in a better place now. [crying] ""HE'S DEAD?"" Haha no, he went to Disney World."

"Do you smoke... The Lady asked,"" Do you Smoke after Sex?"" I said,"" My gosh I never Looked!!!"""

"You know what they say about blind prostitutes... You really gotta hand it to them."

"*sees neighbors bringing in KFC *knocks on door Have you seen my dog she got out *teary eyed Neighbor: Aw. No, but if there's- Some KFC?"

"Our generation doesn't knock on doors. We will call or text to let you know we're outside."

"What are the unspoken rules of sign language? All of them"

"Why does the philosopher have an automatic car..? Because he Kant drive Immanuel."

"I took my kids to the aquarium. ""If you get really close to the glass maybe the whale will talk to you!"" I suggested to my son. ""Grow up,"" said the woman behind the ticket booth."