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Joke of the Day

"Women are like condoms... ...they spend too much time in your wallet and not enough time on your dick."

"Hurricanes are like a divorce in West Virginia There's lots of yelling and screaming, and somebody looses a trailer. -joke from my chem teacher today"

"A group of crows framed my friend, ultimately leading to his death I swear I'll find the murder who criminalized him!"

"What's the difference between a good haircut and a bad haircut? About 3 weeks."

"Minecraft: Story Mode Nerdcubed did it better nearly half a decade sooner"

"Can you say your strengths? ""Your strengths"" No like what are they ""My legs maybe"" No, like for work ""Oh lol sorry, idk prob communication"""

"How do male civil unions not end with the phrase ""I dude""?"

"Two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says ""Do you know how to drive this?"""

"I do not delete bad tweets that get no stars... I let them sit there and think about what they've done..."

"What does Oedipus the king's mother wear under her dress? Q: what does Oedipus the king's mother wear under her dress? A: a Freudian slip"