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Joke of the Day

"love i have been in love with the same woman for 17 years now....if my wife ever finds that out she will kill me!"

"How many vegans does it take to... None. Nobody needs fucking vegans for anything."

"Why did the Jew prefer to sleep in the dark? Because the lights in his house were contolled by a switch"

"Friend: just be yourself. Me: Be myself? Be myself?! Some of the most successful people I know aren't myself. That's horrible advice"

"The Rabbit and the Seagull On a long summer day, a fat man was walking down Michigan Avenue. A black guy ran up to him and said, ""........"

"Me: ""I'm thinking about running a marathon again"" Her: ""Wow, you have ran a marathon before?"" Me: ""No, but I have thought about it."""

"Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippy from drowning? He was too far out maaaaan."

"sex and air Q.why is sex a lot like air A.because it's a big deal unless your not getting any"

"What do you call a Mexican Buddhist? Om-bre"

"""This is all your fault!"" -Billionaire showing son his deed for all the land along the San Andreas Fault"