3501

Joke of the Day

"The 'M' in 'MTV now stands for 'MISCELLANEOUS'."

"""Whoever smelt it, dealt it..."" ""...so technically officer, this is YOUR marijuana"""

"""I brought whipped butter instead of cream cheese for our bagels."" -terrorists"

"How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Hella."

"[Black Joke] what's the difference between a Black guy and a pizza? The pizza can feed a family of four"

"What do you call two lepers in a spar? Soup"

"Filled the tank up with petrol today. Now all the fish are dead."

"I invited my girlfriend to go to the gym with me, then I didn't show... I hope she gets the message that we aren't working out."

"What's white and drips from the cloud? The coming of the Lord."

"*co-worker approaching elevator* *I try to hit ""close door"" button* *I miss, hit ""open door""* Co-worker: thanks for holding it Me: Of course"