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Joke of the Day

"Pick up line I put the STD in stud, but all I need is you."

"Why is it a bad idea for China to become a democracy? Do you know how hard it would be to orchestrate a national erection"

"Roses are dead, violets are dead, ... I'm a bad gardener"

"Most meth cooks start by clicking on an ad to make $500-$800 a day working from home."

"How do ants hide from aardvarks? They disguise themselves as uncles!"

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A lickalotopuss"

"As a child I was obsessed with the difference between cosine and sine As I got older I realized it was just a phase"

"[while titanic is sinking] me: [mouth full of shrimp at the buffet] I can't believe no one is eating these lol"

"I go for chubby girls because they can't run away"

"Magician: ""Think of a card."" Me: ""Okay."" Magician: ""You are thinking of the.. 3 OF SPADES!"" Me: ""I was thinking about a get well soon card."""