162765

Joke of the Day

"Apparently Pistorius wanted a new bathroom door, but his girlfriend was dead against it."

"I went to the doctor yesterday. He said that I had contracted a very serious illness. I then told him that I wanted a second opinion. He told me 'All right, you're ugly as well'."

"A Puerto Rican meteorologist sought counseling. When asked ""why?"" he replied, ""Tropical Depression."""

"What's the difference between my wife and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist."

"Just saw a poor girl crying in the library, devastated about something. So I pulled up a chair, leaned in and said ""You can shut up or go outside, I've got an exam tomorrow""."

"""This place sucks."" ~Stevie Wonder at an art gallery"

"*BUSTS DOWN DOOR* *Fires off jokes* *Kidnappers helpless in laughter* ""..and that's how your granpappy saved baby Jesus."" - Me, someday"

"Beauty and the Beast is an introvert's worst nightmare. You stay home alone miles from people and then the damn dishes start talking to you."

"Big Ben walks up to the club like... ...what up? I got a big clock."

"I met a girl with 12 boobs once... sounds funny dozen tit."