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Joke of the Day
"""Stop anthropomorphising me, bitch""- my cat, while i'm writing this."
Next Joke
"Claiming that someone else's marriage is against your religion is like being angry at someone for eating a donut because you're on a diet."
"""Your honor, my client is absolutely not a flight risk.""n""What makes you so sure?""n""He is a penguin."""
"Spell electricity with three letters. NRG (energy)."
"Why did Jim Morrison overdose on drugs? To get to the other side."
"Never go to restaurants with Hipster Chefs. The food is spoiled. They've been using refrigerators before they were cool."
"2016 has been the year for unforeseen outcomes Something tells me 20/20 will be the year of hindsight."
"I just couldn't stop watching the video about mechanically joining metal... It was riveting."
"My girlfriend called me a pedophile... And I said ""that's a pretty big word for an 8 year old."""
"I'm voting my fridge for president. Because America needs to chill the fuck out."