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Joke of the Day

"Claiming that someone else's marriage is against your religion is like being angry at someone for eating a donut because you're on a diet."

"""Your new girlfriend seems a bit, I don't know...bookish?"" She has a name you know! ""What is it?"" ...Paige."

"A girl went to Thailand... And came back a changed man."

"If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do they all have to drown?"

"I met a German girl today. Her phone number is pretty weird, it's all nines."

"What is a tornado ? Mother nature doing the twist !"

"What do you call an Aztec Mayan snake god tied in a knot? Pretzalcoatl"

"I tried to make a few jokes about french people they were all really rude so I didn't bother"

"How do you use a philosophy degree in a professional context? *Why* would you like fries with that?"

"Hey darling, what would you like for Christmas? ""Oh... I don't know... maybe something that gets from 0 to 100 in seconds when I step on it?"" ""So... bathroom scales?"""