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Joke of the Day

"""Your honor, my client is absolutely not a flight risk.""n""What makes you so sure?""n""He is a penguin."""

"AOL was hacked yesterday so watch out for spam email that looks like it came from 1995."

"With a bit of practice I could be an excellent snooker player... But I dont have the balls and my pockets aren't that deep"

"Me: hey what's this weird lump? WebMD: could be cancer. Me: it's a raisin stuck to my elbow... WebMD: you have two weeks."

"I just found out diarrhea is genetic... It runs in your genes."

"I went to the doctor because my eye hurt every time i drank tea. He told me to take the spoon out."

"What do you call a train that eats too much? A chew-chew train."

"Are you eating Jell-O? Cow: ""Yeah."" You know what gelatin is made from, right? Cow: ""No, what?"" Uh. Rainbows. Enjoy, buddy."

"My wifes hair is so sexy, Its 50 shades of grey."

"What does the Secret Service say when Donald Trump gets shot at? ""Donald! Duck!"""