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Joke of the Day

"My mother-in-law came over and made me dinner, and now I'm wondering if I should have married her instead."

"What did the cow say in winter? Oh my god. I'm Friesian!"

"Where do you put the Duke? In the duke box!"

"What would you order... From a menstruating ice cream scooper in Ireland? Sunday, Bloody Sunday."

"LPT: Name Your Hands, Instant 3some"

"On the topic of Transformers ""Have you guys seen the new toys? They've changed too much! They were so much better when we were little!"" ""...Transformers are supposed to change"""

"Three tampons are walking down the street, which one says hi first? None of them. They were all stuck up cunts."

"Q: What do you give a sick bird? A: Tweetment."

"Not ordering French fries counts as exercise, right?"

"What's a joke that you invented? Here's mine: Did you hear about the guy who had to snort a line of baking soda every day? He was basically addicted."