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Joke of the Day

"What's a joke that you invented? Here's mine: Did you hear about the guy who had to snort a line of baking soda every day? He was basically addicted."

"Best one I know, and quite apt this time of year! :D Americans think they have Freedom!"

"In memory of Arnold Palmer, I wore my golf underwear today... ...the one's with 18 holes. (Too soon?)"

"If you're forcing me to choose between you and my dream of making a sequel to the 1982 horror classic then you've got another Thing coming."

"How did Mace die? He was thrown out the Windu."

"What's the first step in getting accepted to carpentry school? Submitting a stool sample."

"What do riding a bike and playing basketball have in common? If you're not careful, you can pop a ball."

"I sing like an amputee I can't hold a note, can't carry a tune..."

"Most people can't drink coffee then go to sleep. I'm just the opposite. . . I can't go to sleep and then drink coffee. God, that was stupid."

"""LSD Makes Users Lose Weight"" That makes sense. It's kinda hard to get to the fridge when there's a dragon guarding it."