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Joke of the Day

"Now that I'm an overweight, nearly middle aged man, I'm considering bulimia more and more But I don't have the stomach for it."

"What did the boy fish say to his girlfriend ? 'Your plaice or mine' !"

"I invited Jim for dinner ""Jim from church or Jim who travels everywhere by catapult?"" [Loud thud on the roof] *sigh* ""I'll get the ladders"""

"Q: How do you catch a squirrel? A: Climb in a tree and act like a nut."

"My poetry brings all the hipsters to the yard and they're like ""How Avant-garde"""

"A good way to help you determine who to weed out of your life is probably by how someone pronounces ""coyote""."

"want to hear a word I just made up? plagarism"

"You know how when you're in sixth grade and you love someone you express it by being mean and throwing rocks at them? That's Me. I love you."

"Nobody goes to that restaurant anymore. It's too crowded."

"A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but Saran Wrap. The psychiatrist says, ""Well I can clearly see you're nuts."""