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Joke of the Day

"Moses talking to a burning bush was child's play ...compared to the miracle of getting a hundred thousand Jews to voluntarily go in to the Red ~~sea~~."

"The economy is so bad... even the rope splicer can't make ends meet."

"How do they calculate global warming? Al-gore-ythms"

"""How's your love life?"" Well, I went on a date. 45 minutes in I realized it was a turtle in a wig. ""I'm sorry man"" it's ok. still got laid."

"Why don't women like drinking beer at the beach? Because they'll get sand in their schlitz."

"3 nuns, and a nude guy... A guy in a trench coat walks over to 3 nuns, and takes off all of his clothes. The first nun had a stroke. The second nun had a stroke. The third nun passed out."

"My church's priest said today, ""You know, sodomy is frowned upon by the church"" ""So you better not tell your fucking parents""."

"""Life Lesson: Never under any circumstance should you compliment a woman on her mustache, no matter how impressive it may be."""

"Tweets are like your children: you love them all at first, you never know how they'll age, and most of them you regret creating."

"(accidentally invented when heard words out of context) What kind of food did Hitler eat? Notseafood"