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Joke of the Day

"My church's priest said today, ""You know, sodomy is frowned upon by the church"" ""So you better not tell your fucking parents""."

"Did you hear about the kidnapping at the school? It's okay...he woke up."

"Did you hear about the cross-eyed carpenter? He *literally* can't even."

"How many ""friend zoned"" guys does it take to change a lightbulb? None they'll just compliment it and get pissed when it won't screw."

"Why monkeys make terrible drivers: bad depth perception, suffer from road rage & fling poop at other drivers."

"A girl never comments on another unless she's jealous."

"Why do girls never travel in odd numbers? Because they can't even."

"Two snowmen are standing in a field... One snowman turns to the other and says, ""yeah, I smell carrots too."""

"What's the difference between a Harley and a hoover? The position of the dirtbag."

"A priest opens a restaurant... and calls it ""Braise the Lord"""