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Joke of the Day

"Tweets are like your children: you love them all at first, you never know how they'll age, and most of them you regret creating."

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"I just want a girl that's nice and sweet that doesn't require a lot of money and I can dunk them in milk wait, a cookie, I want a cookie"
"[Sea fishing] Me: This is fun. [Deep sea fishing] Me: Many men go fishing all their lives without knowing that it's not fish they're after."
"What's the most popular pickup line at a gay bar? ""Hey, can I push your stool in?"""
"Three men walk into a bar... One said ouch."
"Dear media: There's nothing shocking about celebrities going topless, getting drunk, or falling over. nnLet me know when they read a book."
"What is a drill team? A group of dentists who work together."
"hey, whats the definition of a will? come on guys, its a dead giveaway"
"Just hung a picture of Steve Buscemi over my daughters toothbrush to ensure proper brushing."
"What happened when two hydrogen atoms collided? The doctor had to heal-ium."