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Joke of the Day

"You can't spell ""A.D.D."" without ""hey what is that is that some Go-Gurt"""

"Our daughter ran away from home once when she was a teenager. We were frantic. Within months, we called the police to report her missing."

"What do you call a family that runs a gas station? Pump kin."

"Why can't a Samsung be disguised as an iPhone? Because eventually, its cover would be blown."

"Sent him a pic and he replied ""BOOM!!"" Trying to figure out if that means he liked it or he threw himself on a grenade."

"Why can't Arabs manage the scoreboards at ball games? Because people get nervous when Mohammad starts counting down from 10."

"What did the polite homosexual man say to another at the bar? Mind if I push your stool in for you?"

"Girlfriend: Ok you hang up :-) Boyfriend: No You hang up first :-) Girlfriend: no you first Boyfriend: No you first NSA: both of you hang up"

"My wife said we each needed to make sacrifices to make our relationship work. She was less than impressed with the dead goat I left in our kitchen."

"If we have learned anything from the Friday the 13th movies, it's that Jason mainly kills people having sex. Most of you should be good."