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Joke of the Day

"What can you never eat for breakfast? Dinner."

"[farts on a windy day] Go. Be among your own kind."

"I kept getting asked to stop singing ""What is Love?"". My response to this is always the same... ""I would stop if I Haddaway"""

"5-year-old daughter: Barbie is mad at Ken. *pushes their faces together* Me: Did they kiss and make up? 5: No. She headbutted him."

"You're doing really well now please pull into this liquor store do you want anything? -Me as a Drivers Ed teacher"

"What did the bro say to the bro who couldn't make it to the party because he didn't have a car? Do you even Lyft?"

"I'm the kind of guy who brings his phone charger to the party."

"If women are looking for a strong man who makes them laugh.. then they are looking for something like a ninja clown."

"If Donald Trump was elected president... Instead of saying ""You're fired."" He'd say ""You're deported."""

"[first date] ""So, I heard you work at the circus."" [shallows bread stick whole] Nope. ""You sure about that?"" [chewing on glass] Yup"