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Joke of the Day

"I cut off He-Man's electricity today. Now I have the power."

"[Insert Funny Name Here] A midget psychic escaped from jail. The call went out that there was a small medium at large."

"A super villain gently petting a carpet sample instead of a cat."

"If Chef Boyardee was a dictator what would he name his secret police? Gazpacho"

"Gross I like my pussy like I like my steak... Pink and bloody. I'm so sorry. My friends are twisted."

"I told my gay friend I could turn fruits into vegetables... He said ""prove it."" So I pushed him off the balcony."

"We need a weapon that hits something only hard enough to really annoy it, then turns back around & attacks us! -Inventor of the Boomerang."

"You know that really private/embarrassing stuff you say to your girlfriend when no one else is around? Her friends know all that shit."

"I'm going to dress up as laundry next Halloween bitches love doing laundry."

"Why did the chiropractor have trouble waiting behind people? Because he didn't know what alignment. I hope this one cracks you up!"