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Joke of the Day

"You know that really private/embarrassing stuff you say to your girlfriend when no one else is around? Her friends know all that shit."

"The Water Board sent me a notice saying that my bill was a year old, I obviously apologised for forgetting, and sent them a birthday card."

"What's the difference between America and Europe? In America, we call our inbred hillbillies. In Europe, they call them royals."

"Want proof advertising works? I just bought a Goodyear blimp."

"HR- do you know why we called you down here today? Me- your broomstick is broke and you need a ride? HR... Me- a house landed on your sister"

"What do you call an attractive black mom? Chocolate Milf"

"Two kids Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other one off."

"If you thought the last status was good, Check this one out........1"

"Haven't been able to tweet much recently. Need to cut back on real life."

"I bought an official Craig David fridge recently, and it's useless! It only chills on Sundays!"