186096

Joke of the Day

"Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm God When did this start ? Well first I created the sun then the earth"

"Made alphabet soup for a friend The next day he came to me holding his stomach. I asked him what was wrong. He said that the soup gave him a ""vowel"" movement!"

"You know what is intense? Camping. Is intense."

"One day you're the best thing since sliced bread. The next, you're toast."

"Veni, VD, vici I came, I caught, I cankered"

"FACT: Once he became a knight, Sir Ian McKellen could only move in an ""L"""

"So, Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton have split up! It's a bit of a Nightmare before Christmas."

"it's always the wrong ex who gets drunk and messages you a million times about how much he loves you."

"A button on my car broke... Its a pressing matter."

"A guy once told me life's too short to stress, but it turned out that life's much shorter for people who give advice to stressed out people."