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Joke of the Day

"Comcast: ""Would you like to upgrade your Internet service to include cable?"" Me: ""No thanks, the illegal downloading has that base covered."""

"Why does an elephant wear sneakers ? So that he can sneak up on mice !"

"There's an alternate universe where we are together and finally happy. And I probably forgot to take out the trash there, too."

"whats the difference between hell and gaza? there's no kids in hell"

"How you control your anger Father to son: whenever i beat you, you dont get annoyed, how you control your anger? son: i start cleaning the toilet seat with your toothbrush"

"Emotions are like shit Sometimes you've gotta let it out"

"What is the worst time to have a heart attack? During a game of charades"

"Whenever i have a headache,i take two asprins and keep away the children,like the bottle says"

"I just asked my dad what his favourite part about being a teacher is... He responded with June, July, and August"

"Why shouldn't you put extra lettuce on your BLT? Because then you won't be able to fit into your B-E-L-T! killme.jpg"