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Joke of the Day

"Me: You're the only one who truly gets me. Chipotle guy: What? Me: I said chicken. Chicken burrito."

"Which dances do the burgers do best? The burger-loo and the char char!"

"What's the best way to make money with a plus-size modeling agency? Life insurance policies."

"In a movie theater crowd watches a movie. During funny moments only one person laughs. Confusingly, he turns around and explains: ""Sorry, I haven't seen the trailer."""

"What happens when a Cow tries to jump over a fence? Udder destruction"

"Why did the Mexican take his Xanax? For hispanic attacks."

"How long does it take a tweaker to go shopping? An hour 5 minutes for the Ramen noodles and foil. 55 minutes to fix the squeaky shopping cart wheel."

"You may like your coffee free, but I like mine like I like my women Hot, brown and sweet......and without a penis..."

"Why should you never date a tennis player? Love means nothing to them."

"Two psychics run into each other in the street The first one says, ""You're fine, how am I?"""