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Joke of the Day
"Mary had a little lamb.. And then she had a very large kebab."
Next Joke
"My wife was in jail, so I decided to go for the conjugal visit, which caused her parents to start freaking out... Best game of Monopoly ever!"
"get the butter out hillary is toast!"
"Women fall in love by what they hear. Men fall in love by what they see. That's why most women wear makeup and most men lie."
"What's The Difference Between Donald Trump and a Bucket of Shit? The Bucket!"
"What did Kenny G say when he got off the elevator? - What did Kenny G say when he got off the elevator? - ""Man, this place ROCKS!"" (from Stephen King - The Cell)"
"Whenever I'm feeling hopeful for future generations, I squelch it by watching my children move their heads instead of their toothbrushes."
"I make the kids wear fannypacks so they'll have someplace to hold my drugs when we get pulled over."
"Q: What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away? A: Root position cords."
"1am: Huh, I'm not tired... 2am: I feel great! Maybe I don't need sleep? 3am: LET'S EXECUTE EVERY IDEA I'VE EVER HAD. 3:04am: Euthanise me."