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Joke of the Day

"*at church* ""Does anyone have anything else for the offering basket?"" I OFFER MY FIRST BORN CHILD ""Jim no"""

"Did you hear Trump announce he's doing one more season of Apprentice? Winner gets to be V.P."

"What was post office worker's sexuality She was attracted to mails"

"What do women and autistic people have in common? They don't know when to shut the fuck up"

"Why do some Italian Christmas cakes cause so much trouble? Because you have to open pandoro's box to eat them."

"If everyone walked around with their orgasm face, no one would ever get laid."

"What quality does Elon Musk look for in a woman? He just wants her to be down to Mars"

"[high school reunion] Amanda: wow, you haven't changed a bit me: [covered in acne and wearing faded Pokemon shirt]: yeah I know"

"I heard they wanted to do an Asian version of Drive but there's already a movie called Crash."

"Blow Bubbles ""Hey"", I said to my friend. ""You ever blow Bubbles?"" ""Of course I did"", he said. ""Well,"" I replied, ""I think he must have liked it. He's back in town and asking for you."""