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Joke of the Day

"I heard England won the Super Bowl... But what would I know, I'm not a big fan of tennis anyways."

"I had a chat with my ex-girlfriend last night. He's doing really well."

"Just told a guy talking on his phone in the library to shut the fuck up Everyone applauded me, so I told them to shut the fuck up, too."

"What do you call man without toes? What do you call a man without toes and is allergic to milk? Lack-toes intolerant!!"

"what is a 4 person rock group that doesn't play music mount rushmore"

"If you're not supposed to drink shampoo why do they make it in such pretty colors?"

"I think I'm a superhero, but I don't even remember being bitten by a radioactive sloth."

"Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?"

"I thought I had Tinnitus but the doctor said it was all in my head."

"My dad wanted me to play soccer So I kicked him in the crotch. He asked, ""Why did you do that?"" I replied,""That's what you're supposed to do in soccer, right? Kick balls?"""