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Joke of the Day
"I think I'm a superhero, but I don't even remember being bitten by a radioactive sloth."
Next Joke
"*Adobe update puts on fake moustache and glasses* Hi, my name is iOS 7, would you like to download updates?"
"Never get drunk before you write your grocery list. You'll end up adding things like ""vegetables"" and ""someone who will marry me."""
"What do you call it when you go to the store just to use their dumbbells and then leave? Shoplifting"
"I might commit suicide at lunch today... ...and mix all of the soft drinks together!!!"
"BANK: Someone made fraudulent charges w/ ur debit card ME: How'd you know it wasn't me B: They entered the PIN correctly 1st try M: Dear god"
"A guy comes into a bar. No, wait... it was a horse. So, a guy comes into a horse."
"What do you call a pig with no legs? A groundhog"
"Oh, you're a lesbian? You're not attracted to men, so you go date girls that look like men. That makes complete sense."
"A Jewish kid asks his father for twenty dollars. His father replied, ""ten dollars, what in the world do you need five dollars for, I'd be happy to give you a dollar, here's one cent."""