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Joke of the Day

"Overheard @ high school's red & white football game Clueless freshman: ""So, who are we playing?"" Crowd: ""It's intrasquad!"" Pregnant pause. Clueless freshman: ""So we're still going to lose!"""

"I'm not convinced faith can move mountains, but I know what it can do to skyscrapers. (Come on, it's been 15 years.)"

"I bet my butcher $50 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said ""No, the steaks are too high""."

"What's the difference between training wheels and training bras? I need two hands to remove training wheels."

"[on first date] I'll have an iced tea, please. Waiter: Sure. Ummm...anything for the balloon with a woman's face drawn on it?"

"You know what I call a tube that comes with a caulk? A caulk block."

"*puts crime-scene photos in a rocket* Ok stand back ""Detective, what are u doing?"" What does it look like, I'm launching this investigation"

"I asked the barista for a Nyquilatte. He was really hairy, like a werewolf. A ""wereista"" if you will. I may have already had some Nyquil."

"A blind man walks into a bar... Table and a chair."

"What do rappers use to write their lyrics? Word,yo."