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Joke of the Day

"Overheard @ high school's red & white football game Clueless freshman: ""So, who are we playing?"" Crowd: ""It's intrasquad!"" Pregnant pause. Clueless freshman: ""So we're still going to lose!"""

"What do you call a deaf chick in bed? Anything you want"

"How many women have you slept with My wife asked me, ""How many women have you slept with?"" I proudly replied, ""Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."""

"TIL Pigeons die when they have sex At least the one I fucked did"

"Chuck Norris action figures have been banned in the United States and Mexico due to the roundhouse action related to eye loss in children."

"I like my women like i like my upvotes. Under 16 and being fucked with by people online."

"What time does Sean Connery get to Wimbledon? Ten-ish."

"A man orders a pizza. The waiter asks him: ""Do you want your pizza cut in six or eight Pieces?"" The man replies: ""Six, i dont think i can eat eight"""

"PRANK: ask someone what's on their shirt and when they look down give them a perm"

"Still not sure how to throw away a pizza box."