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Joke of the Day

"I asked the barista for a Nyquilatte. He was really hairy, like a werewolf. A ""wereista"" if you will. I may have already had some Nyquil."

"How many unemployed actors does it take to change a light bulb? (fixed) 100. 1 to change it and 99 to stand around and complain about how they coulda done a better job."

"A heartwarming conversation between a son and his father. Son: Dad do you remember your first blowjob? Dad: Ohhh yeah I do! Son: How did it taste? Dad: Get out."

"the most American thing I've done today is pay $5 for a pre-sliced apple"

"More retailers should adopt the ""Leave A Penny / Take A Penny"" system. It is literally, common cents."

"Abortion jokes They really suck the life out of you"

"What do you call a potato on the street corner? Idaho"

"Lawyers and computers have both been proliferating since 1970. Unfortunately, lawyers, unlike computers, have not gotten twice as smart and half as expensive every 18 months."

"What's the difference between Olive Garden and Reddit? At Olive Garden the servers actually work."

"My Mexican friend is lactose intolerant. No whey Jose."