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Joke of the Day

"Doctor Vs Patient Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine."""

"Why do giraffes have such long necks? Because their heads are so far from their bodies."

"I'm really bad at measuring the correct amount of pasta, so if you and 79 of your friends want spaghetti tonight, come on over."

"What's the difference between Audi drivers and a cactus? Audi drivers have pricks on the inside"

"What do you get when you cross sriracha, Little Caesars, and a donkey? A hot pizza ass! Like... like a hot... piece of... you get it."

"Why are black people so tall? Because their knee grows!"

"Literally The Best Joke Ever. The Best Joke Ever."

"1900: Let's filter coffee. 1950: We need to filter cigarettes. 1970: We should really filter water. 2015: I want to filter my face."

"Probably 98% of human history would have never happened if showing off for girls wasn't a thing."

"We asked 100 women what body-wash they preferred. 99% replied with: ""GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY BATHROOM, YOU PERVERT!"""