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Joke of the Day

"Doctor Vs Patient Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine."""

"My new favorite joke. What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a high school?? Names"

"Are you a keyboard? Because you're my type!"

"""Why are you glowing?"" ""I've been eating light."""

"How did the sailor deal with the death of his friend? He sent out a message in remorse code."

"What do you call a stolen Tesla? An Edison"

"Two fish in a tank... ...one turns to the other and says, ""how do you drive this thing?"""

"Worst Business Idea Ever Biodegradable Bricks"

"Mom said I should only date ""a good man"" and I was like HEAVENS TO BETSY I WISH I HAD KNOWN THIS PERTINENT INFORMATION BEFORE NOW."

"Thank you for teaching me the meaning of the word ""much."" It means a lot."