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Joke of the Day

"Maybe the Loch Ness Monster is really just giraffes that don't want people to know they like to swim YOU DON'T KNOW"

"A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus.. ""You mean a martini?"" the bartender asks. The Roman replies, ""If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!"""

"Me: I know exactly what's wrong with me, Doctor. Dr: I told you no Google. You Googled, didn't you? Me: NO! Dr: <blink> Me: One TINY Google."

"I paid $5.99 for The Interview. I now want North Korea to kill me."

"What did the philosophically-wise Mongol general say to motivate himself? I'm not Immanuel Kant. I'm Genghis Kahn!"

"If there's someone in the aisle of something I need at the grocery store I don't need it anymore."

"Did you hear about the newly announced cure for Parkinson's Disease? It's in a bottle with instructions to ""shake well"""

"A Jewish Boy Asks His Dad For $20 Surprised the dad says, ""$10 dollars?! What the hell do you need $5 dollars for?!"""

"/r/Pyongyang is a.... [Fun and Happy Place!]"

"What's the difference between a Penis and a paycheck? After five years your Wife will still blow your paycheck"