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Joke of the Day
"My new thesaurus is terrible. It's also terrible."
Next Joke
"Dear Alcohol We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter, and a better dancer... I saw the video... we need to talk."
"My gf texted me ""myspacebuttonisbrokenonmyphonecanyoupleasegivemeanalternative"" Do any of you know what ""ternative"" means?"
"There's a group of passive aggressive people that keep saying I'm a snoopy mailman I know because they keep writing letters about it to their friends."
"Why do people like r/citrus? It's sublime"
"Hitler was the worst track runner he couldn't even finish one race"
"ISIS could be considered today's Rocket Power Because they are always blasting away!"
"Why are photographers always so depressed? Because they always focus on the negatives."
"me: could my thighs get any bigger? *sits down* me: oh look now they're the size of Australia"
"What do Dothraki use to count their horses? A Khalculator"