205301

Joke of the Day

"What do Dothraki use to count their horses? A Khalculator"

"According to maxipad commercials, all women are full of blue windshield washer fluid."

"What Do you Call a Bowler that drops his ball a lot? Gutterfingers!"

"A person followed me and then unfollowed me within 3 minutes. How can they judge me after only seeing 47 tweets?"

"I just read the ""100 things to do before you die"" list.... I'm kinda surprised that ""call 911"" didn't make the cut."

"Act now to enjoy a false sense of urgency!"

"I went to see the ballet, and.. ..all the dancers were standing on tiptoe. I said,""Why don't they just get taller dancers?"""

"I walked up to a group of girls. I said, ""Would you like to see a magic trick?"" ""Yes,"" they smiled eagerly. Then I handed them a David Blaine DVD and walked off."

"I was really moved by The Great Gatsby. Specifically, to the theater showing Iron Man 3."

"Who are the world's fastest readers? (NSFW) 9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 8 seconds."