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Joke of the Day

"There's a group of passive aggressive people that keep saying I'm a snoopy mailman I know because they keep writing letters about it to their friends."

"What's blue and flies around the room at high speeds? A baby with a punctured lung"

"""Hey, I finally watched that movie you've been wanting me to see..."" ""Oh, so you finally saw Back to the Future?"" ""Sure did!"" ""It's about time!"""

"""I am not a human garbage disposal"" *eats leftover mac n cheese anyway* *makes terrible grinding noise after accidentally swallowing fork*"

"I'm an Asian male who scored a 2300 on the SAT I still don't know if i met my parents' expectASIANs."

"I offered a North Korean some freedom He said ""Im glad its free but what the hell is 'dom'"""

"Me: I bet you die before you figure out how to text me back. *3 years later* Grandma: Fuck you bitch. Say bye to your inheritance"

"Today I saw a guy on the street wearing a ""Stop Snitching"" shirt I asked him where he got it. he wouldnt tell me."

"Why did the blonde call the welfare office? She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!"

"- What do you think about the coming battle General? - God knows it will be lost. - Then why should we go for it? - To find out who is the loser."