160783

Joke of the Day

"Can all 16gb iPhone users send a screenshot of their storage page? No sorry I don't have enough storage to take a screenshot."

"My New Years resolution would have been to stop procrastinating so much Except I never got around to writing that one down..."

"""YES! YES! YES! Damn."" (A dog, when you open their food cabinet to get something else.)"

"What gets all sweaty as it rides on top of you? Your backpack."

"Sometimes I like to freak my husband out by asking where this relationship is going."

"I just smoked so much pot that I tried to order one of the dishes of food off the scrolling instagram menu."

"What are pigskins used for? Holding the pig together."

"I just invented a new word! It's called ""plagiarism""."

"How do you fit 20 Jews in a Cadillac? One in the driver's seat, one in the passenger, three in the back, and the rest in the ash tray."

"Woman: Come over. Man: I am coming over. Woman: We should stop using walkie talkies in bed over."