191399

Joke of the Day

"I just invented a new word! It's called ""plagiarism""."

"I just bought shoes from a drug dealer I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day"

"Guys whose fathers left when they were young always complain about how they never had someone to ""teach them how to shave"" but it's easy... You start at the ankle and work your way up!"

"Quitting twitter is the adult version of running away from home. We ALL know you're doing it for attention and we ALL know you'll be back."

"""Fight Fire with Fire!"" - motto of my town's least successful volunteer fire company"

"The only time you have too much fuel is when you are on fire"

"What's Sean Connery's favorite sport and when does he play it? Tennish"

"Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash. Mind if we shared a cab home?"

"My best joke Cloid"

"If God doesn't believe in himself... Does that make him an atheist or does he just have low self-esteem?"