202733

Joke of the Day

"My New Years resolution would have been to stop procrastinating so much Except I never got around to writing that one down..."

"Twitter birth control: airfare"

"A lot of people are talking about Usain Bolt. I guess it's a running joke."

"Naked yoga in the backyard is the best way to get the neighbors to pay for that privacy fence."

"If you're only18, please don't tweet philosophy and proverb verbiage based on your first love and the difficulty of your inexperienced life."

"Why did the T.V. break up with the remote? She thought he was too controlling."

"There are few things in life as pure and true as a grilled cheese sandwich."

"I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He said ""thanks"", I said ""don't mention it"""

"What goes ""Vroom!..screech..Vroom!..screech""? A blonde at a flashing red light."

"I once thought I had a Japanese friend.... But it was just my imagine Asian."