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Joke of the Day

"I'm so drunk right now I just walked into Canadian customs and shouted ""Why y'all checkin' me?! Ur the ones with a pot leaf on your flag!!"""

"A boss is like a customer in a restaurant. He wants the best food to be served. But when it comes to cooking his own food, he can even eat his own shit."

"I heard the titanic got a new job... She sells sea shells down by the sea floor. I hear it's a pretty high pressure job."

"Whats black and sits at the top of the stairs? Christopher Reeves in a house fire."

"The janitor squints at the unfinished equation, picks up the chalk and scrawls methodically. Soon all the eights have top-hats like snowmen."

"""I got hoes in different area codes."" - World's most disorganized landscaper."

"How did the scientist like his guacamole? With lots of Avogadro!"

"""I do."" ""Same."" - wedding vows in 2030"

"What does Rolf Harris like to play with on the piano? A minor."

"Be very careful if you eat mushrooms in the wild. There's not mushroom for error."