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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the psychic midget who is wanted by the FBI? She's a small medium at large."

"A terrible plane crash occurred in Lithuania last week. A two-seater airplane crash landed in a cemetery and exploded. They've recovered 300 bodies so far, and they're still digging them up."

"When I'm driving I listen to the country station because it makes me want to get to my destination faster."

"The number of red lights you will hit while driving are directly proportional to how bad you have to pee."

"Afraid to die alone... ...become a bus driver!"

"RIP Fidel Castro You will be Commu-missed."

"What does Light Yagami drink at the bar? Tekira!"

"What's the most fucked up thing you can do to a blind person? Leave the plunger in the toilet!"

"Did you know when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown but only 4 to extend your arm and punch them in the face."

"Where did the Easter Bunny go to college? Johns Hopkins!"