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Joke of the Day

"What's the most fucked up thing you can do to a blind person? Leave the plunger in the toilet!"

"So I'm making a Marvin Gaye tribute band... We're gonna be called 'Marvin Gayer'."

"How To Get Rich: 1. Place a Swear Jar next to Samuel L Jackson. 2. Empty it the next day. 3. Become a millionaire."

"Why don't dead people sneeze? Because they're too busy coffin."

"What's baked every day and sells itself? My sister."

"What do you call a yak that wants to talk to you about a network marketing opportunity? A cognac"

"She said, ""Are you even listening to me? This is important!"" I said, ""I don't know, pizza?"" And that's how the fight started"

"Why do you get the best blowjob at a crack house? Because they ain't got no teeth!"

"What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? Oh wait, I don't have a garage. Sorry neighbor I'll clean them out tomorrow."

"I went out clubbing in the village last night. People looked concerned when i came back covered in blood. I was more concerned about my club."