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Joke of the Day

"Did you know when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown but only 4 to extend your arm and punch them in the face."

"How did the two Irish gay guys know they were meant for each other? Their names are Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald."

"HER: I'm leaving you ME: Is it because I'm too literal? HER: no it's just we're not working out ME: *buys both of us a gym membership*"

"Why didn't the USSR get anything done? They were Stalin"

"Just once, wouldn't it be good to hear an athlete thank Natural Selection for his team's victory?"

"Do we even know how much anything else costs in Africa? Maybe $1 a day to feed a child is way too much."

"What's yellow and writes? A ball-point banana."

"Life is like a box of chocolates, The good ones are always gone before I get there!"

"Gay men tend to be very tongue-in-cheek."

"My girlfriend told me that I am immature and need to grow up Guess who's not allowed in my tree house anymore"