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Joke of the Day

"The worst part about ""Friends"" being canceled is that I've now been stuck with Rachel's last haircut since 2004."

"What is a Muslim baby's first word? ""Revenge!"""

"I like my men like I like my mustard... spicy and brown. *spelling"

"My Gold plated butt-plug business is being sued by Apple. Apparently they have a patent for overpriced crap for arseholes."

"Why did the Snowman pull his pants down? Because the snowblower was coming."

"Teach a man to fish & you have fed him for a lifetime. Teach your kid to make a good martini & you won't give a crap about fish or men."

"I like Australian kisses. They're just like French kisses but down under."

"(6-year old brother gave me this one) Why do farts smell? So that deaf people can enjoy them too!"

"What kind of music does a mummy like? (W)rap music!"

"I recently rewatched The Lion King and just noticed how many metaphors there were... I guess you can say there was a whole lot of *Simba*-lism."