188197

Joke of the Day

"Teach a man to fish & you have fed him for a lifetime. Teach your kid to make a good martini & you won't give a crap about fish or men."

"There was a gay man from Scoon Who took a lesbian up to his room, They sat on the bed, Then each of them said: ""Now who does what and with which and to whom?"""

"My X-ray technician told me she usually doesn't go on dates with her patients... ...but she saw something in me."

"""We just want to find someone who will-"" *sly grin* -Finish our sentences? ""Exactly."" -death row inmates"

"Get rich or die of poverty-related causes"

"A boomerang is just a frisbee for loners."

"The best thing about sex with your sister... ...is that if she gets pregnant, you can just blame your dad."

"Holiday tip. Always buy people gifts that you would like for yourself in case they piss you off before Christmas"

"Why do people never see an Apple store getting robbed? It doesn't have windows."

"Why don't pirates ever stop going to brothels? They can't get enough booty."