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Joke of the Day

"I like Australian kisses. They're just like French kisses but down under."

"If Rob Ford was a duck what he would be smoking? Quack"

"*puts on satin, full length pajamas for men, slips into bed* yes... time to text some girls the word 'hey' and only the word 'hey'"

"I couldn't tell if something on the ground was a ball of animal poop or a rock Nudged it with my foot. It was a rock. That was my risky kick for the day."

"I like my women how I like my cars Safe and reliable"

"""I found my charger!!"" - a love story"

"*Pearly Gates St. Peter: No way! Me as angel: It's the rules! SP: But the drugs and sweari- M: ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN! Snoop: Fo' Shizzle."

"Eight. It took me eight tries to get the USB drive in the right hole. This leads me to believe that if I was a guy the sex would be horrible"

"Friend nagged me for TDKR OST. Renamed Backstreet Boys song and mailed them to him. Fun."

"I'm really worried Justin Timberlake is going to have me naked by the end of this song."