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Joke of the Day

"Mirror mirror on the floor, who's the worst at home decor?"

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"Pictionary is the perfect game to play whenever you need an excuse to punch your friend in the face."
"[2005, youtube's first pitch meeting] ok so basicaly its like if america's funniest home videos was on 24 hrs a day on evrey computer-- SOLD"
"The Physics Department didn't like my Stephen Hawking jokes... ...They all got bent out of shape."
"Sorry I thought your older sister was your daughter and then made everyone else at the restaurant guess your age."
"How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They rearranged the living room furniture."
"Either Narnia has really gone downhill or I'm just sitting in some guy's closet."
"How do you turn regular water into holy water? You boil the hell out of it."
"How do mermaids have babies? Sea-sections"
"I don't care if Ernie and Bert are gay or not, but how do they afford that apartment? Do they even have jobs."