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Joke of the Day

"Sorry I thought your older sister was your daughter and then made everyone else at the restaurant guess your age."

"A couple of Thai girls asked if I wanted to sleep with them. They said it would be like winning the lottery. They were right, we had six matching balls."

"What's a pirates favorite letter? You think its the R! But its actually the C!"

"Where does Christian Grey make photocopies? FedEx Kinky's"

"The year is 2246. Disease and hunger have been eradicated. The terraforming of Mars is complete. The symbol for Save is still a floppy disk."

"Where do Old Egyptian people go to Swim? The Senile River"

"When a girl tells you she has a nipple piercing, the correct response is always ""I don't believe you."""

"CLEARLY CHEATING A man cheats on his girlfriend Lorraine with a woman named Clearly. Lorraine dies suddenly. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, ""I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."""

"What's the difference between a dentist and a sadist? Newer magazines. (Stolen shamelessly from Seinfeld)"

"If I am ever killed by a koala bear, I hope whoever finds me just tells people I was killed by a bear"